Terms of Service

Last updated 19 September 2026

Felony Workout is run by Monster Enterprises LLC ("we", "us"). By using felonyworkout.com or buying a Commissary Pass, you agree to these terms. If you don't agree, don't use the site.

You must be 18 or older

This site is for adults. The writing is profane and the humour is rough. Don't use it if you're under 18.

Entertainment and information only

Everything here — the workouts, the articles, the self-defence and martial-arts pieces — is published for entertainment and general information. It is not medical, fitness, legal or safety advice, and we are not your trainer, coach or doctor.

The self-defence and martial-arts articles are historical and entertainment writing. Nothing on this site encourages you to hurt anyone, break the law, or use force against another person except as the law where you live allows you to defend yourself.

Exercise carries risk

Exercise can injure you, and hard exercise can kill people with underlying conditions. Talk to a doctor before you start any programme here, especially if you are out of shape, pregnant, injured, over 35, or have heart, joint or blood-pressure problems. Stop if something hurts, and get medical help if you need it.

You train at your own risk. You are responsible for your own body, your own form, your own equipment and your own limits. To the fullest extent the law allows, we are not liable for any injury, loss or damage that comes from using this site.

What you're buying

The Commissary Pass is a one-time payment of $9.99 that unlocks the full follow-along player, every exercise animation and all of the Classic routines for as long as we run the site. It is not a subscription, and nothing recurring is charged.

The pass is for one person's personal, non-commercial use. Don't resell it, share it around, or re-publish our animations or writing. We may cancel a pass, without a refund, if it's being shared or abused.

Your pass is remembered in your browser. If you clear your cookies or change devices, use the "Already bought it?" link on the site and we'll email you a fresh sign-in link.

What we can't promise

We don't promise any particular fitness result, and we don't promise the site will always be available, complete or error-free. We may change, add or remove workouts, articles and features, and we may stop running the site altogether. If we shut the site down for good within 12 months of your purchase, use the contact form and we'll refund you.

Payments

Payments are processed by Stripe. We never see or store your card details. Refunds are covered by our Refund Policy.

Changes to these terms

If we change these terms, we'll update the date at the top. Carrying on using the site after a change means you accept it.

Contact

Questions, refunds or lost access: use the contact form. We answer within one business day.